My son called. He had to take his car for urgent work. Could I pick him up, please? Well, of course, and it was in a part of town I used to frequent, well, thirty years ago.

Turns out, it had changed more than a bit. Google map found the address, but then it started downloading ‘interesting places, places to eat in this area’ and left me to my own devices. I tried to send him a message, but the messaging program was, well, updating, temporarily unavailable. 

I turned down what I was pretty sure was the right street, and tried again. The local map was still downloading. And someone was jumping up and down in the street in front of me. I dropped the phone and saw my son desperately trying to attract my attention. So much for electronics that need updating.

Gmail has been my main mail server for years, but recently it upgraded to a new configuration that leaves me searching for things I used to use. The new functionalities of swiping, voice-overs, new ways of collecting and storing files are all fine and dandy if you use them. But I now get a message on my (newish) laptop: ‘This page is using considerable memory." So I pay the price for a lot of functionalities I don’t need.

Is it not possible, dear developers of commonly used programs, to make these wonderful, bloated goodies optional? If I do find the need to look for eateries in an unknown part of town, I promise I will download the appropriate app. And if I feel a need to have messages read out to me, really, I will download that functionality. In the meantime, can I have just the basic map, please? I will even look at your ads.

In the meantime, can I please have back what was a great mail server? Call it Gmail classic or Gmail retard if you will. Or suggest another program if you will.

I used WordStar. Really. I think Noah was one of the developers. With Moses? Well, it worked. In due course, I upgraded to Word for Mac. It was a marvelous piece of kit. But as it developed, each update and upgrade made it bigger, more complicated, more expensive. I am running out of memory and wallet capacity.

Firefox is my browser of choice. The latest update has so many bells and whistles that it hangs whenever I try to watch YouTube. It used to work, now it consumes all available memory.

In dinosaurology (if there is such a thing), it was called gigantism. Animals grew so large they could not adapt anymore. Software seems to be going the same way.

Developers, please: Smaller is better. Add-on options are OK.