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The Number One Clichè That Really Chaps My Hide

Gabriel Perez

Posted on April 26, 2019 15:06

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For some a well-timed clichè is "da' bomb"; for others, it causes them to "fly off the handle like nobody's business". How about you? Where do you stand in all of this?

The other day I was reminiscing about my days in college and I got to thinking about some of the creative writing classes that I had taken. As I did this, I suddenly had a flashback of one particular professor. The memory of this teacher caused me to laugh. However, back then, I definitely wasn't laughing. The reason for this is that the man was, well, he was humorless. I used to wonder if he had ever cracked a smile in his entire life. It was terrible.

Well, anyway, the thing that made me laugh was that he would spend a serious amount of time telling everyone how much he hated clichès. To him a clichè was the scourge of the earth.

He also hated Hallmark cards. He said he found them to be laden with clichès. In fact, he told my class that he would automatically give a failing grade for any of our regular writing assignments, and especially any poetry projects, if anything we wrote resembled what could be found inside of a Hallmark card.

He also said he couldn't stand the Beatles. He would often point to their song lyrics as the worst bit of Hallmark-card-style writing that he had ever seen. I would spend much of the class time disagreeing with him and sometimes inwardly humming Beatles' songs like, 'I Want to Hold Your Hand.'

Wait a minute.

Anyway, I recently looked up the word clichè and found the following definition. I'm not exactly sure, but I think my old professor could've been the one who added this entry.  Here it is: Clichè - a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought.

Whoa. That's pretty harsh. However, it did get me thinking - are there any clichès that we should avoid? I also started wondering whether there's a way to update them and make them more original. So, I've created a top-ten list of the most overused cliches around, with their brand-new original update next to it. Here they are:

Number Ten: 'A penny saved is a penny earned' - now replaced with the much more urban - 'Yo! Bank your cash.'

Number Nine: 'Don't go there' - will now become the more sophisticated - 'This is territory best left unexplored.'

Number Eight: ''Clear as mud' - will now equal - 'Look man, I just don't get it.'

Number Seven: 'Like A bull in a china shop' - should become - 'Face it, you're clumsy.

Number Six: 'A chip off the old block' - sci-fi version - 'Clone.'

Number Five: 'A fish out of water' - is exactly like - 'A human without a smartphone.'

Number Four: 'A watched pot never boils' - will equal  - 'Got patience?'

Number Three: 'Give a hundred and ten percent' - equals - 'By all means, overextend yourself.'

Number Two: 'I wasn't born yesterday' - will be the same as - 'Dude, I'm old.'

... And now, for the Number One overused clichè! 

'Fight like cats and dogs' - replaced with the more political - 'Argue like Republicans and Democrats!'

Gabriel Perez

Posted on April 26, 2019 15:06

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Source: HuffPost

Writing comedy - trying to be funny in general - should be an ever-growing and evolving experience, but it's easy to fall...

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