Writing for the Insider, Talia Lakritz takes a funny (to me at least) and very visual look at some of the realities of touring on cruise ships. Based on the timing of her article, I wonder if warmer weather rings in the start of cruising season or something. I really wouldn't know.

Of course, the cruise lines are there to make a buck and accordingly advertise themselves, their impressive-looking vessels and wonderful destinations using slick and romantic ads promising this and that, luring people to come on aboard. Those who choose to take the plunge (bait, in my colored view) and sail on one of these boats probably have very positive preconceived visual images and expectations of how things will be on their journey.

As Lakritz competently illustrates, this may not always be the case.

She does a good job of showing the reader the idealized, glamourized picture versions of cruises contrasted against some photos that are disappointing and, well, not so beautiful. And while I'm sure that her negative photos are somewhat exaggerated and probably exceptions to the norm, I still literally laughed out loud when I looked at them -- probably in a bit of nervous relief of not being there.

 

 

 

I love to travel, but admittedly, I have never wanted to set foot on a cruise ship; the closest I've been to one was while watching The Love Boat on TV decades ago. Wait a minute. Does having dinner on the Queen Mary in Long Beach count?

But I just can't get into hanging out by the cruise ship's pool, in the general proximity of some unshaven 300-lb. guy who reeks of whiskey and cigar smoke. How about noisy, smelly renovations? Or the unfortunate experience (tragic for some) of the 4200 passengers aboard "a luxury cruise ship" in Italy a few years ago. Titanic anyone? This might very well give one pause. Or that cruise ship in China a couple years back.

Surely there are better ways to die than this. Throw in for good measure the occasional outbreak of some nasty viral contagion one hears about which affects the poor, stranded passengers. Just all very bad visuals; perhaps it's just me.

Anyway, all gloom and doom aside, the cruise lines themselves generally do a wonderful job, have decent safety records and provide a valued service and adventure for many satisfied customers, especially those who wish mainly to carry the dry-land shopping mall experience onto the high seas. I hope they make lots of money.

It's quite evident that boatloads (pun intended) of passengers successfully travel and vacation on cruise ships every year, have a wonderful time and swear by it. Good for them; I begrudge no one a good time here.

Just leave me onshore, thanks.

Bon Voyage!