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Reflections: Brickell, Miami Thanksgiving, 2008 - Thank You

Robin Alexander

Posted on November 14, 2018 13:08

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Written on Thanksgiving ten years ago: In order to go forward, we have to go back to the beginning when we were formed. We are like root vegetables planted in mother earth. We grow haphazardly, one day the sun beaming from the east, another without enough warmth, another with too much water, sometimes with a low quality fertilizer. Each circumstance that nourishes us, or fails to, creates a layer of who we are. The goal is to peel back the layers, and get to the center.

“It’s about recovering the primal intuitive self-knowledge that is left behind over the years, and incorporating that knowledge into who I’m about to become - a process to last the rest of my life.

From my balcony every morning and every night, like a twice daily prayer ritual, I watch a waterscape of dotted lights linking a causeway to Key Biscayne, the glamorous skyline of Miami Beach glimmering in a slight haze while cruise ships and sailboats glide through the bay, the colorful glitter of city lights, the cranes of a neighborhood in the making. Yes, pyramids are being built in front of my eyes with mind-boggling complexity.

In the stillness of dawn and the restlessness of 2 a.m., I can hear the noise of large machines powering mammoth air conditioners – the engines of the southeast. This is the bulletin board on which I envision a new life.

My bulletin board strikes me as full of possibilities. It is beautiful and glamorous and strong – and unencumbered by bad weather. This view of mine presents me with the best that life in this hemisphere has to offer, I am thinking. I am blessed to be here.

The calm bay water connects me to a vast ocean whose water runs in my veins too, uniting me with all that humanity does not manufacture. From my balcony I watch as humankind conquers nature. Humankind mimics nature. Humankind is nature.

I am 52, not yet old but no longer young. I notice I am sometimes tired in the middle of the day (could it be that I am bored and ready for something new?), the planes of my face are less plump than before, my belly does not lie flatly behind a zipper without effort. I have to hold it there after a large meal (perhaps I need to give up large meals).

I realize my behaviors are meaningless because they almost completely follow a family script that I had very little to do with writing. No, I had nothing to do with writing it. I was born into a script. And I've sought validation for a life that wasn’t of my own making.

As I peel back the layers I discover more and more fears and frailties, like slugs lined up neatly under a rock. It’s as if I've been paralyzed by a complex spider’s web that wraps me up and traps me with sticky threads. Of course, I am the artisan who spins it.

The trick now is to cut through the mass and become untangled.

A balmy wind murmurs that I am NOT here only to struggle and suffer. My journey is meant to be joyful. I am here to live fully, find my voice, follow my dreams, fulfill my purpose.

I had a lot of weight to lose. Divorce allowed me to get rid of his baggage.

Now, it is time to get rid of mine.”

And I have.

Brickell, Miami Thanksgiving, 2008: thank you.

Robin Alexander

Posted on November 14, 2018 13:08

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by skykingdomgames Hi Anthony - Yes, we have had that comparison made before. The grid is absolutely nessecary for the...

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