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Hey Helicopter Parent, Just Stop!

Kimberlee Leonard

Posted on June 8, 2018 16:41

2 users

Kids need to be kids and adults need to be adults. If you haven't prepared your adult child with the skills to get a job, showing up at the interview won't help!

I recently came across an article in Psychology Today talking about helicopter parents. What struck me about this article was that it had to do with parents interfering in the job process for their college graduate children.

Exactly. 

If your child hasn’t developed the skills to enter the workforce after college, something is wrong. And I would suggest that the something is you’ve been helicoptering for too long.

I’m not a perfect parent nor do I have all the answers. But I truly believe that my primary purpose as a parent is to create a productive citizen who can participate constructively in society. But if you have to negotiate your adult child’s pay, you didn’t really even try to do this.

It’s not like helicopter parenting happens overnight and parents truly come from a loving place in wanting to help. Society hasn’t helped helicopter parents either; everyone seems to live with higher levels of anxiety about everything from gang violence to educational biases.

Parents, myself included, constantly have to advocate for our children to have equal opportunities, safety and higher standards. There is also a lot of fear that develops when parents feel helpless. Then they do something because it feels proactive and protective. But parents shouldn’t confuse advocating for a child with doing the work for a child.

When I first entered the workforce, I was granted an interview because my aunt worked at the company. She didn’t interview me nor did she or my mother attend the interview. I became a receptionist at the age of 17, showing up to work dressed for the office on time. Even after I had the job, I had to perform in a professional manner.

Toddlers learning to walk must fall down. It’s part of the process. Sometimes those falls lead to injuries. It can be scary for the toddler and the parents. But they still need to go through the process of taking a step, falling down, getting back up and finding their balance. This may be a metaphor used a lot for parenting but there is nothing more true for every stage of parenting.

All we can do as parents is help our children develop the skills for success and where applicable open a door or two. It’s still up to our children to walk through it.

Kimberlee Leonard

Posted on June 8, 2018 16:41

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Source: CNN
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