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Existence Has Officially Jumped the Shark

Robert Franklin

Posted on December 7, 2019 15:45

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Jump the Shark: "The beginning of the end. Something is said to have 'jumped the shark' when it has reached its peak and begun a downhill slide to mediocrity or oblivion." -- John Slowata, UrbanDictionary.com

Full disclosure: I tried everything, everything, to prove what I read was a lie. Fake news, as the President would put it. I looked everywhere, but to no avail. The headline is real. The story is real.

Evil Corp is real.

Screenshot via mobile.

The story effectively boils down to a collaborative effort between the United States's and United Kingdom's governments resulting in a 10-count indictment of two members of a Russian cyber-hacking outfit called (yes) Evil Corp, which include charges of bank fraud, conspiracy, computer hacking, and wire fraud. Both individuals -- administrator Igor Turashev and leader Maksim Yakubets -- are currently at large, and since Russia and the United States lack an extradition treaty, the likelihood of them being found anytime soon is probably nil.

It's an important story, especially considering that the U.S. Treasury believes Yakubets has been working with the Russian government to recruit cybercriminals, and the outcome could have long-standing and significant ramifications for all parties involved.

But it's the optics of the story that have me shaking my head.

Modern times are strange ones, though I've been told they always are. But if I were to engage in anecdotal comparison, I would like to point out how much stranger times like these are to the way they used to be (or at least as I remember them). Cyber-hacking is common, more so than it used to be, and often the hackers were individuals or small groups that operated under cover of digital darkness. Hackers are more visible these days, and from the position of identity, refer to themselves with strange monikers like Digital DawgPound, the 414's, or most famously, Anonymous.

These dudes call themselves Evil Corp.

Now, it should be mentioned that Evil Corp is a moniker assigned by Elliot to a multi-national conglomerate in the show Mr. Robot, and it is possible said show was the source of the group's name. But that's beside the point. Real life is real life, not some drama on USA Network, and in real life when you call your organization Evil Corp, someone is bound to internalize your name and what you do with a palm firmly planted on their face...

Just like I did when I first read the headline "US and UK take down Russian cyberhacking ring called Evil Corp" on Twitter two days ago.

Like I said before, the headline was so asinine, I hoped it wasn't real. I tried to chalk it up to fake news. I really did. But I couldn't. Suddenly, as if existence decided to pivot into the world of Rocky and Bullwinkle, I had to contend with the knowledge that a Russian cyber-hacking outfit called Evil Corp found itself under the thumb of the combined governmental strength of the United States and the United Kingdom, and its two indicted conspirators have disappeared.

Needless to say, I read the headline a second time as: "Moose and Squirrel take down Russian cyberhacking ring called Evil Corp."

Robert Franklin

Posted on December 7, 2019 15:45

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Source: The Guardian
1

Maksim Yakubets and Igor Turashev were also sanctioned by the treasury for stealing banking credentials from 40 countries...

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