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Clown Car of Democrats Running for President

Brett Davis

Posted on February 17, 2019 03:45

1 user

Campaign 2020: Visionaries? More like the blind leading the blind.


Cory Booker, U.S. Senator – New Jersey
Assets: Energizer Bunny-like enthusiasm and something of a silver tongue.
Liabilities: A wide-eyed vegan with delusions of Spartacus-like grandeur.

Julián Castro, Former mayor of San Antonio, Texas; former housing secretary under President Obama
Assets: Isn’t it about time America had a president named Julián?
Liabilities: Last name has some baggage, especially in electoral-rich Florida.

Tulsi Gabbard, U.S. Representative – Hawaii
Assets: Minority. Woman. Hindu. She hits a home run on the identity politics crowd’s intersectionality hierarchy of victimhood.
Liabilities: Susceptible to lei jokes.

Kamala Harris, U.S. Senator – California
Assets: A minority and a woman, she also does well with the identity politics folks.
Liabilities: Dogged by the notion she got her start in politics under the “patronage” of Willie Brown, former California Assembly speaker and former San Francisco mayor. Shares a first name with former pro wrestler Kamala the Ugandan Headhunter.

Amy Klobuchar, U.S. Senator – Minnesota
Assets: Can take the heat, appearing on Fox News to answer tough questions. Can also take the cold, announcing her candidacy outdoors in Minnesota…during a snowstorm.
Liabilities: May have been the inspiration for the movie “Horrible Bosses.”

Elizabeth Warren, U.S. Senator – Massachusetts
Assets: Hates the rich even though she is rich. Has high cheekbones.
Liabilities: May have mishandled – slightly – for a few decades her claims of Native American heritage.

Marianne Williamson, Self-help guru
Assets: Not a professional politician.
Liabilities: Her kumbaya philosophy will see the rough-and-tumble world of politics chew her up and spit her out.

John Delaney, Former U.S. Representative – Maryland
Assets: Announced his candidacy in June 2017, hoping to make up for his lack of name recognition.
Liabilities: It didn’t work.

Andrew Yang, Tech entrepreneur who created Manhattan Prep and Venture for America
Assets: Filed on Nov. 6, 2017, to get an early start on the competition.
Liabilities: The early bird may get the worm, but not necessarily name-recognition.

Kirsten Gillibrand, U.S. Senator – New York
Assets: Relatively recently tacked hard left on guns, immigration and gay marriage.
Liabilities: What does she really believe?

Pete Buttigieg, Mayor of South Bend Indiana
Assets: “Millennial Mayor” is a great nickname.
Liabilities: Speaking of nicknames, it’s pronounced Boot-uh-judge. In Maltese it translates to “lord of poultry.” Seriously. Imagine the insulting nickname President Trump would hang on this youngster.

Joe Biden, Former vice president under President Obama; former U.S. Senator – Delaware
Assets: Is authentically authentic.
Liabilities: Gaffe-prone. Spectacularly wrong on every major foreign policy issue of the last four decades. Kinda creepy around the ladies. Likes to copy other people’s work.

Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke, Former U.S. Representative – Texas
Assets: Allegedly charismatic. Has managed to pull off being thought of as a Hispanic Irishman.
Liabilities: His obvious impression of President Obama is wearing thin.

Bernie Sanders, U.S. Senator – Vermont
Assets: Earned the silver medal last time. Not without his curmudgeonly charms.
Liabilities: Stubbornly thinks discredited socialism is the bee’s knees.

Brett Davis

Posted on February 17, 2019 03:45


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